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Everyday Joy Blog

Tell others that they matter this Valentine's Day

by Melissa Mroczek 26 Jan 2021

Valentine's Day is just one.of.those.days, isn't it? It's loaded with expectation and can feel supremely lonely if our current reality fails to match up to the imagined perception of what it SHOULD be. Well, we are here to end that, for good.

Valentine's Day: The Myth

Extravagant gifts, fancy romantic dinners or activities, and an adoring partner to shower you with all the things and all the love. Being whisked away for a trip for two, or dripped with lavish jewelry. Dozens of flowers arriving with poignant love notes. A heated evening of physical attention and endless lovemaking.

Valentine's Day: The Reality

No significant other, no budget for [expensive] extravagant gifts, or a busy life with work and kids and pets and no time for fancy dates, even if you have a loving partner. Even if your life is incredible, you may feel like you are empty for not meeting They Myth. And if your life isn't exactly in its most incredible space, this feeling of perceived "failure" or loneliness can be downright crushing. For some, it feels loveless and hopeless. Friends, this has got to end.

Valentine's Day: The Facts

Valentine's Day can be a trigger for extreme loneliness and depression. The stress of it can even cause broken heart syndrome, also known as takotsubo cardiomyopathy, which manifests in temporary physical symptoms such as chest pains that feel like a heart attack. Nationally, springtime has higher rates of suicide than the holiday season. Valentine's day can be especially difficult for those who don't feel loved or feel no hope of finding love, and suicide rates increase dramatically. Again, this has got to end.

Valentine's Day: The NEW Reality

To us, the pomp and circumstance (and commercialism) of romance is beside the point. The point of Valentine's Day is to remind us all that love matters. But it isn't just romantic love that matters. And it isn't just having a partner on Valentine's Day and over-the-top romanticism that matters. Genuinely connecting with other humans and showing care, empathy and compassion is the real goal. Let this day serve as a reminder for the other 354 days of the year, to give love to others in tiny ways, every single day. Show up and show love for your fellow humans. 

The truth is, we each matter. Whether single or partnered, parents or childless, young or old, whatever your circumstance, you matter and you are loved. If 2020 taught us anything, it's that we all face struggles and we need to be here for our fellow humans. Show up with grace and love.

The message is simple: If ever you are uncertain about your place in this world; can't see or feel love, don't think you matter, this is your reminder. You are seen. You are loved. You matter. If you are without hope, please know that there are unseen others rooting for you and actively hoping for your future. Like gravity, oxygen, energy - we may not see it but it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. You don't have to believe it for it to still be true. But here's one thing we can all do: reach out to others. See others. Tell them they matter. Tell them they are a lovely person and are valued. Show that you care by doing a small kindness. Smile. Ask how you can help. Give without being asked. Put value on people and on sharing pure, authentic love for others.

To do our own small part to make a difference and create the new reality of what Valentine's Day means, we have partnered with American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), Nebraska.  5% of the revenue from every "Love Wins" collection candle sold will be donated to AFSP-NE.

Let's all do small things, over and over, to change the reality for the better. 🖤


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